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It's our one month on tuesday.

what do I do? What do I get him? AHHH

the answer is daisy duck pez dispenser.

Sep. 19th, 2011

I'm a little sad Joel and I aren't spending the day together today. We legit only get to hang out together like one day a week because of uni/work and social lives.
We hung out last night but that doesn't really count because we spent two hours in a cinema with Geoff and then we spent maybe two hours together after that.

I just wanted to get to know him some more. Have proper conversations. Learn about one another.
And everyone at work is like "you always see each other"
It doesn't count at all. We barely talk at work because he's always working and a 30 minute break doesn't count when every time we start talking a coworker interrupts.

I don't even know why I'm a little pissy at this. Maybe I'm pmsing. Probably.
And he has a really good excuse to ditch me. He's gonna go to class. Education is important. Everyone needs to get their learn on at some point.
apparently just because now that I'm in a relationship I should call my boyfriend to come pick me up when he's hungover and make him take me to work?
like wtf why does that matter?

I walked to work today because I had to drop something off at the chiropractor and her office is like literally down the road from my house. So I walked and of course it started raining as I was walking to work afterwards and I got a little caught in the rain but I layered up before I went to work so I was mostly dry when I got to work.
But then Joel asked me how I was and I guess I'm still sick and miserable so I was like "oh you know I'm good well besides getting caught out in the rain while I was walking to work but I'm good" and I like I didnt mean it to be anything other than that I hate getting wet and cold. I can handle them both separately but not together.
and he replies with "Oh shit that's my fault you should have text me! I should have come and picked you up!"

which is stupid because A) he was hungover and B) it's not his problem to come pick me up.
we're dating but he isn't my driver.

and I told him this and his response was "cuz i'm a nice boyfriend =D and i didnt want you to get more sick" which is sweet of him but everyone at work was like "JOEL SHOULD HAVE PICKED YOU UP RAWWR!"

is it because I have been single for 22 years and I don't understand how this relationship thing works? He's not my driver, it's not expected that he picks me up every time I need a ride is it?

I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS RELATIONSHIP THING

But I do know I miss him because we havent hung out since monday. But I think I'm gonna go and see him at work tomorrow and have lunch with him. We're either gonna hang out on sunday night or monday. We're not sure yet.
fuck you
actually

go fuck yourself joel.

fuck. you. i hope you die alone.

so you wont date me but you want to have sex with me? you want to be friends with benefits but you dont want to go on a single date with me?

do you really think this will work out? do you really think

FUCK YOU

I AM RAGING RIGHT NOW

FUCK

GOD

I WANT TO SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK WITH A NERF GUN
He doesnt want to date me because I work with him. He just wants to be friends.
I dont know why I'm crying.


Probably because I've never been turned down before


probably because I've never put myself on the line like that.


thank god I dont work saturdays anymore.



WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS
My friend C is going through a tough time at the moment. He needs a place to stay and a job and it's making my heart ache. I just want to save him. I want to buy a house and let him live in it.
We caught up tonight at momos and A and I decided we are going to help him. We're gonna find job listings for him and we're gonna find houses he can rent. Something.

I hate seeing my friends like this.
we took her to the vet this morning and I basically fooled myself into believing she would make it.

but she didnt. She died like 15 minutes ago.
She's gonna be cremated but my mom doesnt want the ashes back. But I do.

I can't right now. I just want my dog back.
ruby has been my best friend since day one.
i found her at the flea market in the back of some guys truck with a sign that said "puppies $20"
I ran to find my parents and begged them to buy me one after begging they said yes and we went home with a flea ridden, muddy puppy. After a few soapy bathes and we had this cute little yellow puppy with dark black circles around her eyes.

she would cry whenever we left her alone and would pee herself with excitement whenever we left her. I used to carry her everywhere in a basket and her best friend was a cat called wanderer who...wandered every where and then one day never came home.
she knows all my secrets. She's my best friend. We've been through so much, she once had to go live on a farm for a few weeks because certain people wanted to put her down because she killed a cat after it attacked my mom.

i came home today and she was in the garage. I stuck my foot under the door to tease her but nothing. I come inside and she's just lying there all cold. I make dad take her to the vet and we had to carry her into the car.

we get her to the vet and we're told she has a ruptured spleen. She's well over ten years old and surgery would cost nearly 4000 dollars but there's a chance she might not get better.
our options were to give her surgery straight away and then drive her to a different part of town to give her overnight care.
we decided to bring her home because she shouldnt have to suffer through surgery and then not make it.

she's downstairs right now and I've been crying non stop since i got home. We turned the heater on so she's warm because her body is so cold. She got a shot for the pain and I'm hoping she pulls through the night by some miracle.

I dont want her to die, I dont want to lose my best friend but I dont want her to be in a pain either

I'm supposed to work tomorrow but I managed to find someone to cover me so I'm working wednesday instead. I dont know how I will deal if i wake up tomorrow and she's died while I was asleep. I really don't.
rewatching Doctor Who season 2.

I am so excited but I could have sworn the New Earth episode happened later in the season or maybe I am just blurring the lines